The Flying Helminskis: Sinning Never Felt So Good

Woo hoo Bali!!

We finally took our honeymoon trip - a fancy four days in Bali at the fabulous W hotel. There was even a big ass W right on the beach, in case you wanted one.

W is for...W!

When we moved to Indonesia we knew there were a lot of places that we'd be visiting, from tropical rain forests, to beautiful beaches, to historic temples...to pretty much everything else SE Asia has to offer. For the honeymoon, Bali made the most sense, as it is a beautiful, tropical paradise, and it's only a 1.5 hour flight from Jakarta. Plus I had some Starwood points accumulated, so, the W it was!

When we arrived, we were greeted at the airport by a driver from the W. But he didn't just have a piece of paper with our names on it. Oh no, he had an iPad, with the W logo (also known the letter W) prominently displayed on the screen.

So we got our ride to the resort, and if we weren't sure what type of weekend we had in store, the entrance to the place gave us an idea. It is a long drive with beautiful greenery and flowers everywhere. It's pretty nuts. Take a look:

So we arrive, step out of the car, and land pretty much in paradise. This is the view from the lobby.

It's very exciting!!!

Since we'd been moving around the country or planning our wedding for the past year, we decided our honeymoon was going to hit up at least two of the deadly sins and be filled with sloth and gluttony. We spent almost the entire time at the hotel laying by the pool, playing in the waves, eating our faces off, or enjoying our massively ginormously sweet suite. Speaking of our suite: While it sucked that I was away so often with consulting gigs in Seattle and Florida, the benefit was a butt ton of Starwood points, platinum status, and upgrades galore. There's nothing as soothing as hearing, "and since you're a platinum member Mr. Helminski here's your gold plated, diamond encrusted ferrari for the evening,"....or something like that. So yeah, we got upgraded. Check out the room, it's redonkulous:

Yep, that's a skylight above the bathtub. Roughing it! We also had a complimentary drink prepared for us in the room. A pomegranate martini!

They also prepared our bed with special honeymoon hearts & lips

Everyone knows the honeymoon isn't official without stone hearts and plush lips on your bed. Duh!

The other notable thing about our room was the “special” sculpture on a shelf above the toilet. Words can’t adequately describe it, so take a look:

In case you couldn’t read that little sign, here’s a closer look:

Apparently they knew we like to keep it classy.

Our room also featured a whole bunch of high-end toiletries. I don't remember the brand, but they smelled like pure sunshine mixed with happiness. You better believe we took all of them home.

Ok enough gushing about the room. From there, we headed down to the pool, and pretty much spent the rest of the weekend laying here. I did venture out into the ocean a couple times to be pummeled by the waves and the current, but ultimately the infinity pool was the place to be.

Ocean 1; Brian 0

Post-waves crazy hair beach pic!

The one cultural activity we did do was go to a traditional Balinese dance called the Kecak (pronounced like ket-chak), or fire dance, at the Uluwatu Temple. The current incarnation of the dance originates in the 1930’s in Bali. It is an adaptation of an ancient Hindu trance ritual called Ramayana and a supposed exorcism dance called Sanghyang, and is intended for Western Tourist audiences. Basically, a group of men come out, chanting (making the Kecak sound), and then the actors come out and portray each scene. It’s a somewhat complicated story, but the short version is that Prince Rama must fight the evil King Ravana to save his wife, and he is helped by the monkey-like Vanara. One twist is that a woman plays the prince. Not sure why, but it works. The whole thing takes place at the Uluwatu temple, which dates to at least the 11th century. It sits on a huge cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean, and is a spectacular place, especially at sunset.

Anyway, it’s a really cool event to see, and we highly recommend it. Fun fact: despite not understanding any of the words being spoken (there weren’t many), Gloria figured out the story based solely on the movements of the characters. Looks like all that dance paid off! Seriously though, this was a really cool experience. We’ve got a few pics and a video of the event:

About to head in to the dance

The men throwing their hands up and chanting around the fire.

Prince Rama (left) and King Ravana

The woman playing Prince Rama had the most expressive eyes.

The monkey-like Vanara

A dramatic fire ring around Vanara

Sunset at Uluwatu

Other than that, we laid around, ate a ton of great food (the breakfast at the W included Foie Gras, which Gloria ate every day, and we went to dinner at Metis, which is fantastic), and had a great time. For anyone looking for a relaxing trip in a beautiful, tropical paradise, we highly recommend Bali.