Selamat Natal!

Merry Christmas in Bahasa Indonesia!

It's been bittersweet seeing holiday greetings and updates from our friends back home. Nothing says Christmas in the US like detailed accounts of missed flights, gorging on mom's homemade goodies, and meeting up with childhood friends at bars in which we are far too old to be at now (yeah, I'm talking about EVERY bar in Hermosa...eeesh).

It's definitely helped us to feel more connected to everyone seeing all of the updates and photos. At the same time, it reminds us how far away we are and brings home how much we miss everyone and all the comforts of Christmas at home. 

In order to make things feel a little more familiar, Brian and I bought a tree and decorations. Good thing for the Indonesians, they know how much us Westerners LOOOOOOOVEEE our Christmas trees and sell them for and exorbitant amount that we will NOT submit to! No sir! We will not succumb!

So instead, we bring you this:

Happy Holidays!!!

Sinning Never Felt So Good

Woo hoo Bali!!

We finally took our honeymoon trip - a fancy four days in Bali at the fabulous W hotel. There was even a big ass W right on the beach, in case you wanted one.

W is for...W!

When we moved to Indonesia we knew there were a lot of places that we'd be visiting, from tropical rain forests, to beautiful beaches, to historic temples...to pretty much everything else SE Asia has to offer. For the honeymoon, Bali made the most sense, as it is a beautiful, tropical paradise, and it's only a 1.5 hour flight from Jakarta. Plus I had some Starwood points accumulated,  so, the W it was!

When we arrived, we were greeted at the airport by a driver from the W. But he didn't just have a piece of paper with our names on it. Oh no, he had an iPad, with the W logo (also known the letter W) prominently displayed on the screen.

So we got our ride to the resort, and if we weren't sure what type of weekend we had in store, the entrance to the place gave us an idea. It is a long drive with beautiful greenery and flowers everywhere. It's pretty nuts. Take a look:

So we arrive, step out of the car, and land pretty much in paradise. This is the view from the lobby.

It's very exciting!!!

Since we'd been moving around the country or planning our wedding for the past year, we decided our honeymoon was going to hit up at least two of the deadly sins and be filled with sloth and gluttony. We spent almost the entire time at the hotel laying by the pool, playing in the waves, eating our faces off, or enjoying our massively ginormously sweet suite. Speaking of our suite: While it sucked that I was away so often with consulting gigs in Seattle and Florida, the benefit was a butt ton of Starwood points, platinum status, and upgrades galore. There's nothing as soothing as hearing, "and since you're a platinum member Mr. Helminski here's your gold plated, diamond encrusted ferrari for the evening,"....or something like that. So yeah, we got upgraded. Check out the room, it's redonkulous:

Yep, that's a skylight above the bathtub. Roughing it! We also had a complimentary drink prepared for us in the room. A pomegranate martini!

They also prepared our bed with special honeymoon hearts & lips

Everyone knows the honeymoon isn't official without stone hearts and plush lips on your bed. Duh!

The other notable thing about our room was the “special” sculpture on a shelf above the toilet. Words can’t adequately describe it, so take a look:

 In case you couldn’t read that little sign, here’s a closer look:

Apparently they knew we like to keep it classy.

Our room also featured a whole bunch of high-end toiletries. I don't remember the brand, but they smelled like pure sunshine mixed with happiness. You better believe we took all of them home.

Ok enough gushing about the room. From there, we headed down to the pool, and pretty much spent the rest of the weekend laying here. I did venture out into the ocean a couple times to be pummeled by the waves and the current, but ultimately the infinity pool was the place to be.

Ocean 1; Brian 0

Post-waves crazy hair beach pic! 

The one cultural activity we did do was go to a traditional Balinese dance called the Kecak (pronounced like ket-chak), or fire dance, at the Uluwatu Temple. The current incarnation of the dance originates in the 1930’s in Bali. It is an adaptation of an ancient Hindu trance ritual called Ramayana and a supposed exorcism dance called Sanghyang, and is intended for Western Tourist audiences. Basically, a group of men come out, chanting (making the Kecak sound), and then the actors come out and portray each scene. It’s a somewhat complicated story, but the short version is that Prince Rama must fight the evil King Ravana to save his wife, and he is helped by the monkey-like Vanara. One twist is that a woman plays the prince. Not sure why, but it works. The whole thing takes place at the Uluwatu temple, which dates to at least the 11th century. It sits on a huge cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean, and is a spectacular place, especially at sunset.

Anyway, it’s a really cool event to see, and we highly recommend it. Fun fact: despite not understanding any of the words being spoken (there weren’t many), Gloria figured out the story based solely on the movements of the characters. Looks like all that dance paid off! Seriously though, this was a really cool experience. We’ve got a few pics and a video of the event:

About to head in to the dance

The men throwing their hands up and chanting around the fire.

Prince Rama (left) and King Ravana 

The woman playing Prince Rama had the most expressive eyes. 

The monkey-like Vanara

A dramatic fire ring around Vanara

Sunset at Uluwatu

Other than that, we laid around, ate a ton of great food (the breakfast at the W included Foie Gras, which Gloria ate every day, and we went to dinner at Metis, which is fantastic), and had a great time. For anyone looking for a relaxing trip in a beautiful, tropical paradise, we highly recommend Bali.

Hat salesmen at the beach

Sunset from Potato Head (a club down the beach from our hotel)

Sunset from our room

Sunset shot from the hotel lobby

So long from the W!

Singapore one out for my homies...but don't spill anything on the floor.

As a part of Brian's visa adventures he had to leave the country and go to an Indonesian Embassy to complete the process. We took that as opportunity to visit the beautiful country of Singapore - also known as the most sterile place on earth! Like Disneyland, but without the mascots.

Day time...

Night time!!!!!

Singapore is an interesting place. For one thing, everything is named "Raffles". Do they particularly love giving away gift baskets in exchange for tickets at 1 dollar a pop? Unfortunately, no. Stamford Raffles is better known as the founder of Singapore. Like most stories of Europeans stealing founding Asian/African countries, the saga goes a little something like this:

British dude is like "Hey this looks like a good place for me to make some money because your gorgeous port is a nice area for ships to come in. I can trade and stuff and you can all work for me. I declare this land mine!" 

So now, because of Raffles' great vision of trade, Singapore is one of the most metropolitan countries and has become the South East Asian hub of most multinational businesses. Most people are of Chinese or Malay descent with several handfuls of Australians and Europeans thrown in the mix. The main language is English, with Mandarin and Malay following.

In fairness, old Raffles was apparently a pretty good British dude. While most of the islands in the area were heavily governed by the Dutch, Raffles used his smooth talking skills and negotiating prowess to give the locals more governing power themselves whilst still being declared a British Colony. Oh, except for that whole racial segregation thing that was all the rage in the late 19th century, which now gives us the opportunity to visit landmark areas such as Little India.

It was Diwali when we visited so Little India was all decked out. We got to go inside a gorgeous Hindu temple with a number of Gods represented at various altars inside. If someone of the Hindu faith is able to share with us who they are and what they represent, we would love to know!

Indians know how to decorate like what?!

Sacred cows!

This one intrigued me the most. Anyone?

One of my Esprit Cohorts, Pam, who is originally from Singapore took us on a tour and stopped by this amazing Chinese Temple built in southern Chinese style. You can't tell, but the entire support beam structure is interlocking - no nails, bolts or nothing. Just pure ingenuity and maybe some Chuck Norris.

You know I don't speak Spanish.

Two warriors or guardians are painted on each set of doors to scare away any evil stuff.

Paying respects with incense.

Teaching Brian about my peeps.

Being a new country that sort of sprung up out of nowhere, Singapore is incredibly strict. It is the cleanest place I've ever been, and for good reason. They don't want you messing up their beautiful country. For example chewing gum is illegal. If you even get caught chewing gum, you may be fined. The rationale is that if you chew gum, you're likely to spit it out and that shit will stick like the dickens onto concrete (as anyone in the US knows). Funnily enough though, prostitution is legal and there is an entire red light district where you can buy an evening with a pretty lady.

Numbered for your convenience

The two red lanterns mean "come on in".

This one even has advertisements.

So basically you can sell your body for money but can't freshen your breath after a tasty lunch. And since we've stumbled into the subject of the world's oldest profession, we'll address another aspect of Singapore that seems to be a head-scratcher: same-sex rights, or more specifically lack thereof. Now, this isn't your typical gay marriage question like in the US. Oh no. In Singapore they take it to another level. Being the efficient, controlled society they are, Singapore gets specific.

Borrowing from our friend Wikipedia: After the exhaustive Penal Code review in 2007, oral and anal sex were legalised for heterosexuals and female homosexuals only. So prior to 2007, it was technically illegal for anyone, married, straight, single, gay, whatever, to engage in any sexual activity outside of the good old fashioned baby making process. But since 2007 they've decided to adopt a social policy approved by the Almost Politically Correct Redneck meme:

Regardless of your political or other beliefs, this is a bit silly. Non-traditional sex is ok if it's heterosexual, or if it's two women? Really? Come on Singapore, seriously. You have an entire section of town dedicated to legal prostitution, but a couple dudes having some adult time is a no-no? 

Ok, enough with the soapbox. Can you believe the size of the horns on this guy? They're ridiculous!

Yep, you seem to be just the right size.

Back to the wonders of Singapore: the subway. Oh the subway - it's not like any other subway you'd see in the US. No homeless people, no struggling musicians, no trash, no grafitti.  And you can't eat or drink anything on it so it stays super clean. It's fantabulous!

I ride the SMRT, S-M-R-T.

Those yellow lines direct traffic. Seriously.

The windows are so clean you can see the nose hairs on the guy sitting across from us.

A large chunk of Singapore actually sits on reclaimed land. In fact most of the "glitzy" part of Singapore is on this reclaimed area, most notably, the Marina Bay Sands and it's GLORIOUS shopping center and view of the bay. We had the chance to have dinner at the Ku De Ta - a fancy-pants restaurant at the top of the casino with my friend and Esprit cohort Angelo and his lovely lady Desiree.

Fancy-pants hotel, casino, bars, and restaurants

Hey girl.

It's like an ad for the UN. If the UN had ads...

The magic of panoramic shots.

Of course, we spent most of the time doing other touristy stuff like going to the night safari, the aquarium, the Singapore Flyer, and walking around the bay.

Our wonderful tour guide, Pam!

Indonesians are so talented

Fire breathing dancers at the night safari

Singapore Sling!

Pink dolphins!!!

Shark feeding

My happy place!

The lotus-shaped museum

The helix pedestrian bridge.

Marina Bay Sands all prettied for the night.

View from the top of the Singapore Flyer.

In the flyer

It's like we like each other.

Overall, Singapore is a very beautiful and nice place. It's a huge contrast from Jakarta so it was nice to get away and be able to breath clean air and obey traffic laws for a week. But as we noted, although it was nice to be in a place with so little chaos and so much order, there is such a thing as too much order.

So, that's our take on Singapore. We'll def be back for some getaway time despite the lack of gum.

As always, much love from Jakarta!